Forgiveness
by DaemonCat
Summary: Moon Child fic, shounen-ai implications. Shou's having a hard time, and Kei isn't helping... Please r
1. Prelude

Forgiveness

_Just a little something I threw together, based on my favourite scene in the entire movie. Setting the scene, if you will. More coming as soon as I find time to type it up. By the way, I don't own Moon Child, or any of its characters. I just borrow them from time to time - I wish._

-

"What's it like outside?" asked Kei listlessly. Shou got up lethargically and went to the window. He was careful only to peer through the corner, so as not to let unnecessary light into the darkened room. Kei much preferred the dark.

"Lovely weather," he said gloomily.

Kei sighed, and slumped further down in his chair with his eyes closed. For a moment, Shou was worried he might have collapsed at last, but he said "Really?" It wasn't a question, just something to keep the silence away, but Shou nodded anyway, his ponytail bouncing on his back. He saw, as he looked at Kei, limp and frighteningly vulnerable in his chair, that Son was right. Kei did look terrible. He opened his eyes a slit and spoke up again. "Perfect for Yi-Che's big day." There was no bitterness in the way he said it; after all, Kei was as happy for Yi-Che as the rest of them (except perhaps Son, whose brotherly pride knew no bounds). He really thought it was great that her artistic talent had finally been recognised, and he was prepared to brave anything to be at her ceremony. But it was depressing that now he couldn't be there.

Shou decided to leave him alone for a while, so he didn't say anything, and left Kei to brood in his half of the room. It was an unusual room, divided through the middle half by a wall, and half by silver bars that ran from floor to ceiling and spanned the rest of the boundary. It should have been oppressive, but Kei liked it, and Shou had to admit there was a certain style about it. Kei dragged himself up and began to pace.

"You don't drink blood these days," said Shou quietly. He sat on the floor, backside up against the wall, knees drawn up. He couldn't see Kei, but he heard him move around some more.

"It's none of your business," came the sharp reply. Dammit, Shou couldn't stop thinking about what Son had said. Sure, Kei was skinny, and more than a little on the small side, but now you could see his bones if he so much as moved.

There was no hiding it; Shou was worried about his old friend, and a halfhearted "None of your business," wasn't going to shut him up. He persisted, somewhat tentatively. "But you're so weak." As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he'd gone too far.

As he expected, Kei snapped back at him. "Should I drink yours?" Shou could hear the speed with which he'd spun round in outrage, but his expression didn't change. He didn't even blink. Kei took a deep breath to calm himself, and flung himself down on his bed. When he spoke again, it was much softer. Contrite even. He didn't mean to snap at Shou. It wasn't his fault. Not that Shou minded so much. He'd grown up with Kei; he wasn't stupid. Kei may have been an easy-going guy for most of the time, but so much as touch that defence of his, and he'd retaliate. And usually regret it later.

"I live by draining the lives of others." Kei's soft voice snaked into his thoughts. "That's my entire life. You know what that's like?" Of course Shou didn't. He wasn't supposed to. So he said nothing. Kei continued. "Sometimes I can't bear it. So I go without." He laughed bitterly at himself. "A starvation diet." He stole a glance at Shou, but Shou wasn't looking. He was just staring expressionlessly off into space. "Now I'm having fun with you guys," he said, his eyes still on Shou. "But it's not real." And he forced himself upright again to pace and work off his restless lack of energy. "You're all growing up." Now he was next to Shou, half holding, half leaning against two of the silver bars in such a way, it looked as though he would fall over if he let go. "Someday you'll die, Shou," he murmured. Shou's gaze remained fixed on a corner of the ceiling. If indeed he was listening at all, he didn't seem bothered about dying.

"And I'll be left behind. I'll just go on living." In a sudden fit of energy and frustration he rattled the bars. "You think that's fun?" he roared.

Down on the floor, Shou was still motionless, but when he looked, Kei watched a tear spill from his unblinking eye and leave a silvery trail on his cheek as he shook his head so slowly and so slightly that anyone but Kei might not have noticed.

Well, he may have noticed but he wasn't paying much attention. Shou in tears was breathtaking. His blue eyes, very unusual for a Japanese, reminded him of the surface of water. Even now, slightly reddened from crying, or wanting to. Mizuiro, he said to himself. Water-coloured. The tip of his nose was flushed pink, but the rest of his face remained the same. But his lips looked fuller than Kei had ever noticed before.

And Kei's chest fluttered. He felt the hunger return, and his eyes roved unconsciously down to trace the delicate curve of Shou's neck. God, the last time he'd felt like this was in the aftermath of their first encounter with Son, right after Son had had his leg patched up by his sister, and endured Toshi's constant teasing. "Don't be brave," said the latter wickedly, hovering around. "You can cry if you want!" Then he'd launched into a hilarious impression of a child crying to its mother until Son hit him. Son had then got up and limped over to Shou, saying "She'll see you now." Of course, Shou batted him away like a fly, true to his tough guy form. Son just laughed at him. "I can smell the blood from here." When this didn't work, Kei had leaned over and hit him lightly across the arm. That had done the trick. "Ite, baka!" he complained, nursing his arm. "Don't do that!" Kei had unsuccessfully hid a smile. "Have her take a look!" That got him up, and Son had kindly helped him along, balancing on his good leg to seize Shou by the shoulders and haul him roughly up, before shoving him in the right direction.

As soon as Yi-Che lifted his torn sleeve and exposed the bullet-wound, Kei's mouth had dropped open, and his heart began to race. He'd only managed to contain himself when Son's leg was being bandaged because… well, he didn't know. But the plain sight and smell of all that blood! The very fact that it was Shou's made it all the darker and more exciting, and a passionate thrill ran up his spine. In the end, when he could stand it no longer, he'd muttered something about getting fresh air and stalked out.

He came back to himself with a jolt. Shou was still there, the lone tear still rolling down his cheek. Why now? There was no blood. Only Shou in tears on the floor. And even Kei wasn't so much of a bastard to try and take advantage of him in that state.

Kei disappeared from Shou's blurry field of vision, only to reappear moments later, having walked around the back of the wall and through the doorway on the other side. Still he didn't move. He didn't even dare move his eyes to look at Kei, because he knew he'd just dislodge the other tears waiting to fall. It didn't make any difference in the end; Kei stood directly in front of him so he had to look whether he wanted to or not. Shou could only see a vague, blurred shadow that he assumed was Kei, but he could make a pretty good guess at his facial expression when he heard his voice.

"You cry baby." He didn't mean it offensively, there was a compassion, a fondness there that Shou hadn't heard since he was a kid. A tender hand brushed away the tear from the side of his neck. The movement brought back memories of tall, shadowy people, the smell of the pavements on hot nights, and his brother's voice calling "Oi! Shou!" at a thousand different times, in a thousand different ways. He still playfully called his brother Shinji 'Shin-chan', though he was well over twenty. Kei seemed to be having the same kinds of thoughts. When Shou half-fell forward as he gave in to the emotion, Kei steadied his head with one hand, and laid the other on the back of his neck, tangling his fingers in Shou's mane of hair. "Just like when you were a kid," he murmured.

They stayed like that for perhaps a minute, and for a minute they were transported to the past, when Shou wasn't afraid to cry in front of Kei, and Kei could fool himself into forgetting that Shou would ever grow up, ever be anyone other than who he was now. But eventually, Kei gently pushed his head up, and Shou leaned back against the wall. The only sign of anything different were the glistening tear-tracks now meandering down both of his cheeks. Now he kept blinking and swallowing, and his eyes were fixed in front of him as he tried furiously not to slip into tears again.

"Now you go and have a good time," said Kei gently.

"Haa," was Shou's reply, which Kei knew was an affirmative. He used it when he didn't want to betray himself with words. Shou in tears even sounded breathtaking; his rich voice husky and trembling.

Kei's throat tightened, and he quietly left Shou alone with his thoughts on the floor.


	2. Dreaming

**_Dreaming_**

_Chapter Two. Enjoy and review. Oh, and see the movie, it's great._

_Disclaimer: I still don't own Moon Child, its characters, or anything remotely connected with it. I'm pretty sure all I own is the writing on this page._

_-_

Shou looked up from Toshi's lifeless body to see Son transfixed by something he couldn't see, and instantly got a bad feeling. An unnatural silence and pressure built in his ears, making him feel like he was underwater. He shivered, and remembered that he was dripping with rain. But he laid Toshi's body down, and started to walk slowly to see what Son was looking at, the mute Yi-Che trotting apprehensively behind him. He knew what it was, deep inside, but chose to ignore it and make sure. He knew because when he caught sight of Son's face, he didn't look particularly shocked or scared. He looked as though he thought he was dreaming. Oh, Kami-sama, thought Shou. Not that.

There was a gap in the park foliage, and Son was standing stone still in front of it, staring stupidly through. Shou joined him.

"Kei," he said quietly. "Kei, stop."

But he didn't. He was doing exactly as Shou had thought he was. Kei had finally given in to his hunger. Shou was just glad that the hood of the huge robe he wore when venturing anywhere in sunlight was covering his face. He had no desire to see Kei feeding on anyone, not even one of the bastards who'd killed Toshi. Yi-Che looked like she was going to throw up. He felt more than a little sick himself. The man sprawled beneath Kei's crouching form was still moving.

"Kei, stop it, please!" he begged.

Still no response. From where he was, Shou could see the man's eyelids still flickering, in what looked like a mute cry for help. His movements were becoming weaker all the time, and what had probably started as violent thrashing about was now little more than twitching. The way Kei moved above him reminded Shou of the way lions at a kill look, in some twisted way, like they are nuzzling it.

"Kei, please stop," he repeated brokenly. "Toshi's dead." And he held out his hand, palm outwards, stained as it was with Toshi's blood. Maybe Kei heard him, or maybe he saw the movement, because he looked up, but Shou was sure he couldn't have understood, because the only expressions on his face were enjoyment and madness. Of course, Kei hadn't eaten in some time, but it still seemed wrong somehow that he should look quite so sinisterly happy. His mouth opened, and he was panting; Shou could see blood on his teeth and tongue, and staining his lips. The insanity in his dark eyes frightened him. Even if he had heard, he was like an animal and incapable of understanding anything. Shou turned his head away; he couldn't bear to see Kei like this. Maybe at first he'd meant to avenge Toshi, but a look at his grinning face told him that now all meaning was lost to him. Kei was lost, surrendered to some primal pleasure.

What was it like? Was it like getting high? An orgasm? He'd asked before, but the answer was never direct. "I can't tell you," Kei said shortly. "You'd just want to try it." More than a little unfair, but he'd bit his lip and shut up, playing the obedient boy. Now all these questions resurfaced, but Shou just turned away in disgust. There was no reasoning with him now; all that remained was to leave him alone until he came to his senses again. The man beneath him appeared to be dead, at least he was no longer moving. A blessing, Shou thought ironically.

As he started to walk away, Son seemed to wake up, and stared at him incredulously. "You're just gonna… leave him?"

"He won't listen," he said flatly. "Come back in a while and he might be sane again." His voice sounded so bleak next to Son's miniature outburst. "Come on," he added. "We have more important things to worry about." He was, of course, referring to Toshi. Not that it was really Toshi anymore, just a broken shell that used to house his spark, and all of his little absurdities, and the way he could make anyone laugh, even Kei. Just minutes ago he'd been alive, and just yesterday they had been happy. Then two big-shot Triads had turned up earlier, with a handcuffed Toshi in tow. Evidently, they hadn't been happy about being sold drugged pizza by some backstreet punks and then robbed. Somehow they'd found Toshi, and now he was dead.

Son began to tremble as it sank in. "You knew!" His frantic accusation rang through the whole park. "I don't believe it! You knew, didn't you?"

Shou stopped in his tracks. There was no point in lying, nor did he want to. "Yes."

"Why the fuck did you not tell us?" Son demanded, catching up to Shou. He looked furious. Not that Shou blamed him particularly. When he didn't answer, Son thumped him aggressively on the shoulder. "Shou," he said, not even bothering to disguise his anger. "Why didn't you say before?"

Shou tossed his ponytail behind his shoulder and locked eyes with Son. "It was nothing to do with me," he answered finally. "You should take it up with Kei. Ask him why he chose not to tell you, not me. And don't say anything," he added, interrupting Son's cry of indignation. "I found out exactly the same way you did; by seeing it."

Fuck this, thought Shou. He couldn't be bothered with all of this now. Kei could take care of himself, but Toshi couldn't. He had to inform the police or something, and at least the old guy in the pizza shop where he'd worked. And a funeral? God, you'd think a little thing like dying would be simple enough. Well, if Son and Yi-Che wanted to come along with him, fine. If not, then he wasn't responsible.

As it turned out, they did follow, and Son was surprisingly helpful once he'd got over Kei's vampirism, or at least put it as far from his mind to allow him to think normally. He'd even run back and fetched Toshi's phone.

"Now you can call the police, or something," he explained. His eyes widened momentarily. "Shit!"

"What?" Shou was in no mood for drama anymore.

"Kei!" spluttered Son. "They'll find him!"

"Baka." Shou sighed. Now he knew why Kei didn't like people knowing. "He'll be long gone by now."

"How-?"

"You saw that guy he was feeding on, right?"

Son nodded, wary as to where this was going.

"He looked pretty dead, didn't he?"

"…Yes…" This wasn't Son's topic of choice.

"Well, Kei prefers his meals warm."

Son looked really sick. "I swear, I'll never ask anything like that again."

-

The old Chinese man at the pizza shop took the news quite well. No questions, no fuss, he just nodded and carried on with his business. This was a relief for Shou, who didn't relish answering any questions, but he also hoped that Toshi would be missed at Happy Pizza. Besides his friends, and his moped, his job at the pizza shop was one of the only things of any value to him. He'd been one of those people who really believed deadlines and appointments only happened to other people, but he took real pride in his job.

He was gone. That was it; there'd be no more scams, no more just hanging around and taking the piss. Not too long ago, they'd had lunch at Son's place, on the roof because it was a nice day, and Toshi had suddenly, and (Shou thought) for no reason, asked him, "Didn't your parents teach you any manners?"

To which Shou had replied, "I have no parents."

"Me neither," remarked Toshi, in a 'Fancy that!' tone of voice.

"I know that!" Of course he knew, the three of them, Toshi, Shou and Shinji had grown up together as orphans. But it had made him smile when he was nervous about being around Yi-Che, who, he'd noticed, he was developing quite a crush on. It was silly little things like that he would miss most.

"Oi, Shou," piped up Son dejectedly. Well after all, he'd been friends with Toshi too.

"Aa?"

"Me and Yi-Che, we're going home now," he explained. "We're tired, and there's nothing more we can do today. You should go home too." He looked up at Shou. "It's been a hard day, you should get some rest."

Shou just blinked tired eyes at him. He was too exhausted from the tangle of emotions the day had brought on to argue. Son was right anyway. "You're not still mad at me?"

Son looked at the floor. "No," he said simply.

"Aa."

Son clapped him roughly on the shoulder, muttered, "Take care," and then headed off home, followed by Yi-Che. Neither of them spoke, not that Yi-Che spoke anyway, being mute and all.

Shou didn't go home straight away. He wandered and meandered through the streets, finding himself in the park. He had been right; Kei wasn't there, but the police were. They didn't have much authority over people anymore, but they were good at clearing up the messes left by gang scuffles and scraps. And apparently they'd searched the whole park; because there was official yellow tape everywhere. Even around the clearing where the bodies of those Triads were, and judging by the shocked exclamations and swearing of the officers, Kei had bled them dry. Shou shook his head in an attempt to get rid of the sight of Kei looking up from his kill. Maybe he should go home now.

He didn't know how he got home. He just looked up and saw the door of the flat in front of him, and the keys were in his hand. I really do need sleep, he thought. He was in no state to even think about trying to sort out Toshi's details. He felt Toshi's phone in the pocket of his jacket. Yes, he could do it tomorrow, give him some time to think.

When Shou turned the key in the lock and opened the door, he knew instantly that Kei was home. Not only was there a faint smell of blood lingering on the air, but he could hear the gentle rush of falling water. Kei always showered after he had killed. Said it cleansed his mind. But Shou felt a flash of anger. Dammit, Kei was in disgrace tonight! And Shou just wanted to go to bed, so ignoring him would be made doubly easy.

As he pulled the curtains closed, stripped to his boxers and slipped drowsily into bed, he heard the shower door open and Kei's voice calling his name. But Shou just burrowed further down in bed and pulled the quilt higher.

-

"Shou," whispered Kei. "Shou-chan."

Shou didn't move; he was asleep. Damn, why did Shou have to be so beautiful? He was perfectly still, breathing evenly and snoring occasionally, eyes closed. What was the word? Peaceful. A strand of hair had fallen across his face, next to his nose, where it quivered as he breathed. Kei was tempted to gently move it, but he didn't. He looked so perfect as he was. Instead he pulled Shou's t-shirt from where he had flung it on the bed, held it to his face and breathed in Shou's familiar scent with his own eyes closed. A thought occurred to him; he could take the garment and hide it, then when Shou died, years in the future, he could hold it to his nose like this, and remember the way he looked tonight.

After toying with the idea some more, he tossed it back onto the bed. There was no point.

Kei knelt beside the bed, and rested his chin on his crossed arms so his face was level with Shou's. "I'm sorry, Shou," he whispered. "I know it's hard for you, and there's nothing I can say to make it better, but I'm sorry. I won't promise it'll never happen again, because it will. I'll try to put it off for as long as possible, if you want," he offered, fully aware that Shou couldn't hear him, "but I think you know it'll happen sooner or later. I'm a weak son of a bitch, ne?" He smiled, sadly and humourlessly. "Do you know why life is so precious, Shou? It's because it's so fragile. And me… I've had that taken away, because I'm immortal. I've had that little worth snatched away, and I know it, but you have no idea, do you? You still think I'm sad because I'll miss all you guys when you're gone, and I'll never be able to really get close to anyone ever because I'll just outlive them. Well," he reasoned, "when I put it like that, it is depressing. But that's not what I'm saying. It's more selfish than that, Shou. You're so naïve, thinking that all I think about are others, when really I'm just cut up because I'm worthless now, and no one cares."

Shou didn't even stir. He must have been dog-tired. What am I doing? thought Kei. Even when Shou was a kid, he'd never stay in the same room as him. He didn't dare. Self-control wasn't one of Kei's strong points, but presence of mind was, and he had the presence of mind not to tempt himself unnecessarily.

And now here he was. Shou was asleep; it would be so easy just to slip the quilt down to expose that warm, smooth, white-skinned neck. So easy just to move slowly and silently in, closer and lower and closer again. Until he was close enough to hear his breathing, to feel his heartbeat, to-

No.

He was leaning in already, and he'd started to bare his teeth in preparation. No, he couldn't let himself get carried away. Not here. Not now.

Not Shou.

Had Shou woken up right then, instantly alert, and had his eyes gone immediately to the door of his room, he might just have caught a glimpse of the back-end of a shadow flitting through, elongated by the light outside, before the door was firmly but softly closed. But he didn't, and remained lost in some light, foggy dream, never to know that Kei had visited, and whispered to him, and fantasised about biting him.


	3. Limits

Chapter 3. Shou's being pushed right to his limits. Can he cope? Read and see. And I've said it before; I'll say it again. I still don't own Moon Child, any of its characters, or anything else to do with it. They all belong to their respectful owners, no matter how much I wish. Just watch though, one day I'll bribe them, insert evil laugh here

-

The sound of the phone drilled through Son's dreams. Yawning and swearing, he swung himself out of bed and tried to stand up unsuccessfully. He heard Yi-Che move around, and called sleepily to her. "Go back to sleep, it's just the phone. I've got it." Curse whoever the hell had phoned at this hour. Son didn't bother trying to find a clock. He really didn't want to know. Grabbing the phone, he dragged it off the hook.

"'Lo?"

The voice at the other end was deep, with a Japanese accent. "Son?" It sounded panicked.

"Fuck, Shou, what do you want?"

"Where's Kei?"

"Oh, for the love of-" He was irritated now. Son had just discovered what he wanted to be woken up for least in the entire world, and it was Shou having fits over Kei. "How should I know? You're the one who lives with him!"

"But he's gone!" Son had never heard Shou the tough guy wail before. At any other time, interesting.

But now… He sighed in exasperation. Yes, it was annoying, but after what he'd seen of Kei's true colours, he didn't feel like relaxing while Kei was out wandering alone. "Well, where has he gone?"

A torrent of angry Japanese assaulted him, and he held the handset away from his ear, wincing. He caught the word 'baka' several times. Well, fair enough, it had been a pretty stupid question. "Okay, okay. Got it. You don't know. What happened when you went home? Was he there?"

A mumbled "Yes." At least, it sounded like 'yes'.

"What happened?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Shou?"

"I… um…" Shou sounded sheepish. Ah, this meant he'd done something stupid. Bring it on, tough guy. "I… was sort of… ignoring him…"

Oh please. This had to be a joke, or even better, a dream. No way was this for real. "Well bloody hell Shou. You don't exactly help yourself, do you?" He was definitely in a bad mood now. Maybe he just went for a walk or something, I don't know, to clear his head. If he's not back by the morning, then I'll help you, okay?" An idea occurred somewhere in his sleep-fogged brain. "Hey, all those things about vampires and sunlight, are they true?"

"Why do you think Kei didn't go to Yi-Che's big ceremony thing?" came the cool answer. Why was it that Shou found it perfectly acceptable to talk about vampirism, but went crazy every time Kei was out of his sight?

The statement sank in. Of course, realised Son. It all made sense. And when Kei had finally shown up to the ceremony, the sky had been clouded over with rain, and even so he'd worn that huge hooded cloak thing of his. And he never ate with them, and he only seemed to be seen at night… Damn, it all seemed so obvious now.

"Anyway," he resumed. "You feel any better?"

"Aa, I guess. Thanks, Son."

"Great. Now fuck off and let me sleep."

-

Shou was sitting on the floor, staring forlornly at the clock on the wall, which had just struck ten, when someone tried the door. But it was locked, so whoever it was that wanted to come in swore loudly in Chinese and hammered on it. Shou sighed. It was just Son.

"Hey, Son."

"Fucking let me in already!"

"Nice to see you too Son." But he got up anyway, and turned the key in the door. Son looked slightly dishevelled; he'd just got up.

"God, you look pathetic," he stated flatly.

"I don't think God'll take too kindly to that." He chose to ignore the insult. He was asking a favour, after all. He should be grateful Son had decided to help him in the first place. "Thanks for coming, Son."

Son made himself right at home, yawning and stretching luxuriously, before flopping onto Shou's bed. "Judging by your enthusiasm at seeing me, I'd say he's not back yet."

"No." Even Shou was surprised at how subdued he sounded.

Son's glance flickered, as if he hadn't taken Shou's distress seriously. Thinking back to his irritation at the phone call, he probably hadn't. But the flicker disappeared, and when Son spoke again it was as light as ever. "Don't be so depressed. Kei's a big boy, he can take care of himself." There was a note of comfort there. "He's immortal, right? And it's not as if he'll starve."

Shou looked up and gave him a weak smile, though he felt more like crying. "Thanks," he said quietly, and he meant it. Son looked taken aback.

"Anytime." He got up and put a hand on Shou's shoulder. "Come on, let's go and find him then. It won't do to have him wandering around snacking on people."

"I don't know what I'd do without you," said Shou honestly. "But Shou won't be eating for a while now. Two people in one day, that's more than enough to keep him going."

Son didn't miss a beat, though he still wasn't used to talking about Kei like this. "I'd still be happier if you were there to watch him."

"So would I," agreed Shou. For completely different, selfish reasons of course. He didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Shou?" Son's voice stopped him in his tracks. "Are we going?" He was standing expectantly by the door.

It took about five seconds for Shou to realise they weren't waiting for anyone. It felt strange, just the two of them, no Toshi, no Kei. He didn't think he'd ever done anything like this before without them. It wasn't as if he was never alone, just that when he wasn't with Kei (which was rare, as they were like shadows to each other) he always knew exactly where Kei was at any given time. So now he felt totally lost.

Son was patient while he gathered and straightened out his thoughts. He may have been impulsive and quick to anger, but he didn't like to see his friends hurt or upset. He was known to be slightly possessive, especially over Yi-Che, and now it looked like he was extending that level of protection over him too. Shou was thankful for the uncharacteristic show of tolerance. He'd never done it before; maybe it was because there was no one else around. Toshi wasn't here to take the piss, and the room was devoid of Kei's silent (yet to Son's mind, intimidating) presence. Not that it mattered, of course. The fact that he'd made the effort in the first place compensated for any ulterior motives he might have.

Ulterior motives? Shou had to smile in spite of circumstances. What, is he trying to seduce me?

"There you go," said Son. "Cheer up. Now come on. Give me the damn keys if you don't want to lock the door behind you, and I'll do it. Kei does have his own keys, ne?" Shou grinned, spotting a Japanese trait that Son had picked up from Toshi. Unlike Kei and Shou, who tried to speak Chinese as much as possible around Son, Toshi only ever made the effort at work, and then only because he liked the old Chinese guy he worked for. The young Chinese just accepted Toshi's refusal to speak Chinese as a quirk of his character. In fact, he enjoyed the challenge.

God, don't start thinking about Toshi.

Son was still waiting, and Shou looked him in the eye. "Let's go." And without a second thought, he covered the distance to the door in six firm strides, thrust his key into the lock and turned it.

"Hey, you didn't answer me," pointed out Son. "Does Kei have his own key?" Seeing Shou's nod, he added, "And he has it with him?"

Shou had thought of this. He'd made sure Kei had taken his key even before phoning Son. He nodded again, and pulled the door open violently. Son flinched as he heard the sound of the door hitting the wall hard. "Dammit Shou, chill!"

"Sorry," he said. "I'm just fucking furious with him for going, and worried sick about him at the same time. When we find him I'm not sure whether I'll kiss him or kill him."

"Great," said Son brightly. He made a mental note to stay on Shou's good side. There was a dent in the wall.

-

They didn't find him. Shou knew they wouldn't. They visited every childhood haunt Shou could remember, including the building (old and dilapidated when Shou was eight years old, and falling apart now) where Kei and Shou had first met. Every time they approached a place that looked familiar, Shou went into overdrive inside, but he feigned indifference to himself. If he hoped too much, Kei wouldn't be there. Bullshit, of course, but he'd worked himself up into such a state that he half-believed it. Whenever they investigated a place, only to conclude that Kei wasn't there, his heart sank a little lower, but it was coupled with a wild hope that maybe when he got home Kei would be there.

Son glanced uncomfortably at Shou, whose face was a stone wall to the turmoil inside. He didn't relish the thought of telling him to call it a day. They wouldn't find Kei. That was pretty clear now. He was just putting off the inevitable for as long as he could.

Luckily for him, Shou made the first move. "I guess we should quit."

"…Yeah," said Son, caught off-guard. "Sorry," he added, sincerely.

Shou shook his head, staring fixedly at the floor, blatantly avoiding Son's gaze. "Nothing to be sorry for," he muttered thickly.

Son let him go. If this carried on for much longer, he'd kill Kei himself.

-

_Watch out for the next chapter. Will Shou have some kind of breakdown? Depends on whether I'm mean enough for that! Read on to find out. Reviews are welcomed, reviewers worshipped._


	4. Requiem

_Last chapter, hang in there. Disclaimer: I own nobody. Blah._

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Shou felt like crying. He felt like standing up and screaming to the whole world, "Why are you doing this to me?" He felt like walking out of the flat and never going back.

Shou was at home. Kei wasn't.

Son had called him to make sure he was home okay. He supposed he should be grateful that someone cared. He'd considered going to see Shinji, but decided against it. The sight of that useless, drug-doing brother of his sitting around and waiting for Shou to bring the world to his door might well have sent him over the edge. And Shinji wouldn't care.

He heard a quiet knock on the door. "Come in, Son," he called dully. Obviously Son was more worried than he'd thought. Firstly, he'd actually come round to check on him. Secondly, he hadn't beaten the door to within an inch of its life. "Door's open."

Shou watched apathetically, as the handle turned, and the door opened, making that little squeak it always made because neither Shou nor Kei could ever be bothered to get round to oiling it. Son didn't come in, but stood outside. Which may have been because it wasn't Son at all.

Shou gaped at the little sheepish figure in the doorway. Sheepish was right. The word was probably coined for Kei at this moment. Shou got unsteadily to his feet. "Kei! Where have you _been_?" he yelled.

Kei's answer was quiet, as always. "Walking." He smiled hopefully. "But I'm back now."

Ah. Shou knew this. Asking for forgiveness. It happened every time, and every time, Shou forgave him, knowing it would happen again. Nothing had changed. He shouldn't forgive him. He knew he shouldn't, but maybe it would be different this time. He couldn't help it. "You selfish, ungrateful son of a bitch!" he cried, and dove at him, rugby-tackling him off his feet. "Goddamn you, if you ever do that again, I'll rip your head off!"

It may have started out as anger, but they ended up just hugging on the floor. Shou had missed him. He was scared of losing him now.

Kei's shoulder felt wet. It was okay; he'd been forgiven this time. He was safe for now.

Shou wanted to stay like that all day, sprawled on the floor outside his door, obstructing the corridor. Just lying on top of Kei, his head on the vampire's chest. If Kei had been anyone else, Shou would have been able to feel a heartbeat. However, the unexpected appearance of Son put an end to all of that.

"What the fuck-?"

"Son?!" Shou looked up guiltily. Son was silent, but not for long. It was only a matter of time before he exploded. And not much time.

"I come here," ranted the Chinese, "to give you moral support, come to help you in your time of need, comfort you in the depths of your despair, and here I am after all that effort, when I wanted nothing more than to be asleep thanks to _you_ calling me at some stupid hour of the morning, and here I am only to find you and Kei rolling around on the floor together!"

Oops. Shou flushed beet-red. "It's not what it looks like!" God, how lame did that sound? Kei snickered beneath him. Shou wished the floor would just swallow him now before he said something really stupid. "Well… um… Kei's back now… so…"

"Yeah, I can go now right?" Son sounded angry. And… hurt? Not to mention embarrassed.

And I wouldn't be if I just happened to come upon two of my best friends in a very compromising position on the floor? thought Shou dryly. "I didn't mean that, Son." He started to scramble to his feet. Now wasn't that just the best idea he'd had all day?

"I know, I know. Don't worry about it." Son shot an amused grin in Shou's direction. "It's okay. I'm leaving anyway, Kei's back, and you're not suicidal anymore. My work here is done. Enjoy your reunion, okay?" Son didn't bother saying goodbye, as such. He just walked away and left them. To be honest, he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Not only was he fiercely embarrassed at the whole situation, but Shou… it sounded silly, even admitting it to himself. He'd thought he had a chance. Of course he knew Kei would always have priority, but when he was gone… And Shou still had no idea what was going on behind Kei's constant presence, what he was saying behind the silence. Or what was going on behind Son's 'only-there-when-you-need-me' presence, and what he was saying behind the constant chatter.

"Shou," he whispered. "You are so naïve."

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Owari

That's all, folks. Review now 


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